In The Know

February 16, 2009, I knew something was wrong when I go into the office at my normal early bird time, 7:00am and the entire management team was already in. I guess they knew that there were early birds so they had to be there early. Well, it was at 8:00am when my manager called me into the office, and she is never there that early, I knew what was about to happen. Even though I knew I was going into her office so that she can tell me that “due to financial challenges the company was having, they have decided to eliminate my position.” I think the word “eliminate” was the one word that stuck out. It still hurts. I told them I understood, it was the third lay off in 3 months, but when I got home and later that day, I broke down. I was mad because I work so hard, weekends, holidays, long hours, to really help the company succeed and this is the thanks I get. I was hurt, because I guess the word “eliminate” and that it was a total disregard for all the hard work and time I’ve spent at the company helping them get to where they are, but I also prepared them substantially personally to move them forward. A lot of emotions surfaced which really shocked me because I have gone through this before.

It took me a couple of weeks of these emotions to really come to terms with everything. What was the real turning point was the support I got from my family. Unbelievable support! So after a few days of being angry, mad (and yes, there is a difference between angry and mad) and hurt and disappointed, I finally just woke up and said okay, let me get started. The first thing I did was to review my resume and I really had to add a lot of details on the last position. (Wow, the last position sounds weird.) Then, instead I did look at positions on the web and searching, I noticed, a lot of the job boards have changed. Even though, that first week, even the day after I was laid off, I was actively searching for a job, it dawned on me that my approach had to be different.

After reviewing my resume and reading some of the job descriptions on the job boards (I even applied to a few positions to see what kind of feedback I would get with the existing resume.), I had to do quite a bit of polishing up on my job search, networking, resume, etc. What I eventually did was to ask my family to write adjectives that describes me. I put out an easel with a writing pad and just had them come by the easel in four days and just jot down words of what they thought of me. Not looking at the easel until at the end of four days, I was amazed that my family thought about me in that way. (Look at the pic below!). Not only did it make me think about how my family saw me, but how I saw myself. So I have to digress a bit.

A couple of years ago, my husband went to this executive recruiting firm and sat down for an evaluation of his work history, education and skills. Well, the executive that my husband had a meeting with asked that he bring in his wife for a meeting as well. So, we did both not really understand why my presence was important. Well, when we got there, he got straight to the point, the reason they ask to have a meeting with the spouses was that often times, people are uncomfortable with speaking about themselves and they tend to be reserved and not bold enough to really look at themselves. People will always critique themselves on things they do wrong, but are really uncomfortable most of the time on talking about the good qualities they possess.

When I read each word, I was amazed that they saw me that way, but I was not surprised because I agreed. I agreed with every word because when I thought about it, they described me to the tee. So, I’m looking at myself differently these days. I am “insanely passionate” about life and technology and people. I am “powerful” in my own right especially when I have something to say. I am “extraordinary” and a “great listener”. I think they got the word “unleashed” because of a rebranding that my last company used to describe their business, however, it was used as a suffix of another word.

What a great exercise that I asked my family to help me with and what a response. What I learned from this was I have to see myself for what I really am and no one knows that better than me and my family apparently. The advice I give, don’t be afraid to look at yourself because you may surprise yourself!

Purple Rose

Here are the words from the pad:
Extraordinary, Loving, Caring, Flexible, Commanding, Trainer, Great Listener, Trust-worthy, Fun, Educational, Grasshopper (my son said he used this word because I can hop around, fall and hop back no matter what, great huh?!), Motivator, Collaborator, Mathematical, Exciting, Bright, Uniter, Insanely Passionate, Multicultural, Innovator, Philosopher, Independent, Generous, Courageous, Storyteller, Refreshing, Team Player, Powerful, Determined, Communicator, Catalyst, Engager, Instructor, Beloved, Good Coach, Ethical, Astonishing Spirit, Philanthropist, Enlightner, Unleashed, Energetic, Proactive, Dedicator, Mother, Wife.

Tags: See Yourself